I’ve been in this space for years, and I hear from men every single week who are frustrated, discouraged, and often embarrassed to admit what’s really going on behind closed doors. If you’re reading this, you probably already know what it’s like to stare at the ceiling night after night, wondering what happened to your marriage—and why she never seems interested anymore. I wrote Get Her To F*ck You Again for men like you, because frankly, the typical advice hasn’t helped anyone I know get real results.
Today, I want to lay out how the information in my book has helped real men turn things around, why it works, and how you can finally break the cycle—for good. I’ll also explain why just talking, apologizing, and waiting rarely brings back genuine intimacy. If you want a proven path forward, you’re in the right place.
Understanding the Real Reason Things Changed
Let me tell you about Greg, a guy who reached out to me after years of struggling with a “dead bedroom.” Greg did what most men do: He tried to be extra nice, took on more chores, and talked about his feelings, hoping it would spark desire again. But instead, things only got colder. His wife stopped responding to even the smallest gestures. The tension in the house was so thick he dreaded coming home.
What Greg didn’t realize—and what I explain right up front in Get Her To F*ck You Again—is that men lose intimacy not because they aren’t “good enough” or because their wife just changed overnight, but because of a process I call betatization. Over time, men stop doing the things that made them attractive in the first place. They become predictable, accommodating, and start living life on autopilot. It’s not his fault. Society, media, and even well-meaning relationship advice push men into these patterns.
But here’s the truth: the spark dies when polarity dies. When you become the guy who is always available, always compromising, and never leading, she stops feeling that deep pull toward you. That’s the missing piece that so few therapists or counselors are willing to address.
Why Traditional Advice Doesn’t Work
When men come to me, they’ve usually tried everything: date nights, heartfelt talks, and even couples counseling. And yet, the bedroom stays cold. Why? Because those methods don’t address the root of the problem.
The big mistake is thinking more communication or more sensitivity is the answer. What actually moves the needle is rediscovering what made you magnetic to her in the first place. I break this down in my book, but here’s the essence: Attraction is visceral and subconscious. You can’t “talk her into” wanting you. She has to feel it.
Counseling is great for working through trauma or major communication breakdowns, but if your marriage is physically flatlining, you have to change the dynamic—not just your words.
Reclaiming What Made You Attractive
Let’s go back to Greg. After he read Get Her To F*ck You Again, he realized that he had given up his own hobbies, stopped caring about his appearance, and always put his wife’s needs ahead of his own. He thought that by sacrificing, he was proving his love. In reality, he was draining the relationship of the masculine energy and excitement that made him irresistible years earlier.
One of the most important things I teach is that you need to stop making her the center of your universe. Instead, you must get back to your purpose—whether that’s fitness, work, or a passion you left behind. The moment Greg started focusing on his own goals and stopped asking for permission or validation, the energy at home changed. His wife noticed. She started to smile again. There was tension in the air, but this time it was the good kind.
Taking Real Action: The Male Action Plan
I don’t believe in vague advice. That’s why I built the 12-Week Workbook to go with the main book. Men need a concrete plan.
The first step in the Male Action Plan is to regain control over your fitness. No, you don’t need to look like a model, but you do need to show her (and yourself) that you care about your body and your energy. As men, we’re visual creatures and so are women—no matter what anyone says. When Greg started hitting the gym again, not only did his confidence go up, but his wife started to see him differently. The same will happen for you.
The next part of the plan is to set boundaries. This means stopping the constant cycle of apologizing, tiptoeing, and asking for approval. You have to show up as a man who’s comfortable in his own skin, even if that means disagreeing sometimes. A man with boundaries is a man a woman can respect—and desire.
Finally, you need to take control of your social and financial life. When you become the man who leads in every area, her attraction naturally returns. And the best part? Even if your marriage doesn’t turn around overnight, you’ll still have your dignity and a renewed sense of self-respect. That’s what this process is really about.
Facing Her Tests: What To Expect When You Change
Let’s be real—when you start to change, she’ll notice. She might test you to see if this “new you” is real or just an act. This is what the red pill community calls a “shit test,” and it’s something every man will face.
If your wife gets snarky or tries to provoke you, don’t react. Don’t explain yourself or try to win her approval. Stand firm. Show her with your actions that you’re not the same predictable guy she’s gotten used to. This isn’t about being rude or distant; it’s about being self-assured.
When Greg handled his wife’s pushback without backing down or becoming defensive, everything shifted. The tension in the house wasn’t just negative anymore—it was charged with possibility.
What If She Doesn’t Respond?
Not every marriage is salvageable, and I’m always honest about that. Some relationships have gone too far, or maybe she just isn’t the right woman for you. The beauty of following the process in Get Her To F*ck You Again is that it puts you in a position to succeed, no matter what. You become a man that other women notice. You get your confidence back. And if your marriage is going to be saved, it’s because she genuinely desires you again—not because you begged, bargained, or pleaded.
You Don’t Need Her Permission To Change
This is the hardest truth for many men to swallow. You don’t need to check in with your wife before making positive changes in your life. If you’re waiting for her blessing, you’re giving up your power.
You change for yourself. You build your body, fix your finances, reclaim your social circle, and develop your self-confidence because that’s what makes you feel alive again. She will either be inspired to reconnect, or she won’t—but either way, you’ll be in a better place.
My Client’s Results Speak Volumes
Over the years, I’ve heard from men who went from sexless, roommate-style marriages to having their wives initiate again. Not every guy gets the Hollywood ending, but every man who put in the work found himself more attractive, more respected, and more fulfilled—whether in his marriage or in a new relationship.
When you stop walking on eggshells and start taking real action, everything changes. It’s not about manipulation or trickery; it’s about becoming the man you were always meant to be.
Why You Need the Book and the Workbook
Get Her To F*ck You Again is the complete blueprint for men who are ready to break out of the dead bedroom trap. The 12-Week Workbook isn’t just a supplement—it’s a hands-on, step-by-step action guide to keep you on track and accountable.
If you want real change, you need more than ideas—you need action. The workbook gives you practical exercises, weekly targets, and space to track your progress. Men who use the workbook alongside the book see the fastest, most dramatic results.
Ready for a Real Solution? Take Action Now
If you’re tired of living as roommates, tired of “trying everything,” and tired of feeling unwanted, it’s time to take your next step. I wrote Get Her To F*ck You Again to be the book I wish someone had handed me when I was struggling. The 12-week workbook is your day-to-day system for putting these concepts into practice.
Stop waiting for permission. Stop hoping she’ll change on her own. Take responsibility for your life, your energy, and your marriage.
Pick up your copy of Get Her To F*ck You Again and the 12-Week Workbook right now.
This is the moment everything changes—for you.
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